Ever since I embarked on the WordPress journey in earnest, I had vowed to maintain a blog that exudes positivity and grace. I catered to what the Internet desired, namely, servings of impeccably crafted words garnished with glossy, curated photography. SoMuchToTellYou was thus underpinned by this very premise, a premise which I am about to turn on its head with what I intend to share. I’m not a deceitful person by nature (can never put on an act to save myself), and yet it would be terribly deceitful of me to say that I am impervious to the darker recesses of a runaway mind.
The truth is, my mind is constantly struggling with the unbearable lightness of insignificance. After all, isn’t every step in life a desire to be felt just a little more?
Remember when our pliable minds of youth were fed with many untruths, chief amongst them being that the world is our oyster, and that we ought to dream big and live bigger? Well, I was forever an easy target for such propaganda.
Armed with such grandiose and quixotic instincts, I blindly charged forth in life feeling I could change the world. There would have been a time, long ago, when I wanted nothing more than to exert my influence, make my mark and repay the society that played its part in raising and nurturing me.
Needless to say that I have achieved very little of my once lofty ambitions. I can’t change the world. I can barely bring about change in myself…
At the end of the day, this is the real reason for blogging. It provides a ready outlet for my garbled streams of consciousness, and has made me feel – if only momentarily – expressive and significant again. Who would have thought that the very soul whom has apparently renounced all conventional forms of social currency should thus crave for attention, for validation, and for meaning?
So here I am, back to my inner sanctuary. Writing. Although who will read, I do not know.
Dear Reader, I will be MIA for several weeks as I roam distant lands in search of Meaning. I shall miss you all!