The Window, The Door & The Teacup
I have lost all track of time as I am sitting here, immersed in my thoughts, of nothing in particular and yet everything at once. I suppose that’s inevitable when you decide to take stock; you are quickly besieged by the unceremonious merger of thoughts from near and afar, the rapid coagulation of moments with years. A reflexive check of the time reveals it to be 11.25pm, 20 December 2016. And as I am about to press the “Publish” button to what will be my 30th post, I cannot help but feel the faint flutters of relief (of how far it has come) and hope (of how far it can go).
I am not sure about you, but I have often wondered about the Writer labouring behind the façade of their impeccably crafted blogs. Their stories never fail to intrigue me. Their lives a reflection of what I aim to achieve for myself one day. So, as for my year-end review (a loose term, of course), I will offer an insight into the Jolene behind SoMuchToTellYou.
Osmosis: 23 March 2014 (The Window)
As with a few things in my life, the birth of SoMuchToTellYou was experimental (at best), accidental (almost). It was the confluence of neurosis and helplessness that created the perfect storm, or the perfect moment for venting. The You in SoMuchToTellYou is, of course, singular; for an audience of one (or none as it would turn out, the aforementioned You remaining blissfully unaware of its existence, even now).
As a stoic, I naturally wouldn’t have told you all that I wanted to say. But I have wanted you to find me. As such, I wonder if it has ever occurred to you that when I shut the door in your face, I would leave a window wide open… It was silly of me then, to overlook the fact that my short bob bears no resemblance to Rapunzel’s long luscious locks, and that you would have had no hope of ever reaching me, even if you had tried.
Taste for Life: 8 August 2016 (The Door)
It was travelling solo (or rather, escaping the ritualistic way of life) that gave me a new lease on life. The conquest of the distant and the unknown tickled my ever-inquisitive spirit. Along with new frontiers, culinary palates and social comfort zones, I discovered many facets of myself which have never before seen the light of day.
If the birth of SoMuchToTellYou was accidental, its rebirth is no accident. There is much truth to the great adage of Ibn Battuta that travelling “leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller”. I am no storyteller – no belle of the ball, or pulsating heart of the party – but now I do have more to say (which is still not saying much). And as I watched the walls fall away and the door thrust open to all of you dear Readers, I felt decidedly grateful!
A Place to Call Home (The Teacup)
I have been blogging with anaemic regularity for a little over 4 months now (which is to say with as much regularity as my corporate job will allow, i.e. the job that pays for the food, the bills and all my guilty pleasures, lest I shall ever forget). Whilst it is no occasion to crack open the Veuve in celebration of its longevity, I am hopeful that there will be longevity to come.
The truth is, I have come to rely on SoMuchToTellYou as my second home and my little slice of utopia. It has become a refuge no less; a sanctuary to nurse a weary heart. Never have I had the good fortune in speaking so frankly, so freely (nor felt this much salvation in doing so). I figured that after all if I am to treat it as a home, I need to furnish it with as much passion and honest simplicity as is fitting of my nature. I have therefore chosen to furnish it with a selection of my favourite adornments which, despite being casually scattered, hopes to give a semblance of the comforts of home.
So as I put the kettle on, why don’t you make yourself comfortable and stay awhile, or as long as you please…
* Do you still remember your very first post and how it all started? And what is it that keeps you going? *